Saturday, 10 November 2012

Grand and Great

So this morning my mum and grandmum left. Thankfully their flight was very early in the morning and when their taxi came to pick them up at 5.50am we were still pretty sleepy to have the time and energy to cry. However, we were all quite sad. Ten days with them were simply amazing for all of us: Emilia received all the love and attention she needs and Rob and I tasted a bit of life pre-parenthood, which was very nice. Once they left, I went back to bed and tried to sleep some more. Then Emilia woke me up at 8.45 for her feed. The day started well: I fed and changed Emilia and then I put her in her bouncer while I enjoyed a nice cup of tea and a good slice of homemade vanilla and walnut cake. We then played for a good half hour on the couch and when she got tired I put her in the pram for her morning nap as my mum used to do. However, after 20 minutes things changed. Emilia started crying (=screaming!) and stayed upset for three hours. What a change! I was so frustrated I didn't know what else to do. I wish I could have just called mum for help one more time. Thankfully, the afternoon was a bit better and she did have her afternoon nap. Not for two good hours but she was down and peaceful for an hour and a half. Rob came back from NYC early today and I was hoping to have a nice evening with him, however we didn't manage to put Emilia down to bed until 10.00pm, so a bit later than what my mum used to do, which means we had to take turns to eat dinner. Hopefully, though, she will sleep for a while now. Time will tell. 

Today, I don't mind saying it, I was so down and lost that I started questioning what I do wrong. According to Rob, Emilia was simply missing her grandmum and great-grandmum. I am not sure it is possible at this stage, she is too little, I think, but perhaps she could sense all the love that she received in the last few days and something was missing in her daily activities today. She had gotten into a very nice routine with my mum and hardly cried for a week straight. I am sure there will be good days and bad days and today was just a bad one but I need some reassurance that I am a good mum and am doing things right. Mum, grandmum, I miss you so much! 

Here is a picture of grandmum strolling with Emilia. I hope I will be as energic as her when I'll be 83 years old.

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